HEART ISSUES
Fact: God made you gentle and loving, and life will throw you all kinds of people and situations to weaken and harden your heart.
People call that “becoming more masculine”, but having a block in your heart stops you from being human, not feminine. There is such thing as building a spiritual backbone and it doesn’t require you to be hard or “savage”.
Learning how to avoid detrimental changes to your heart takes time. It takes God giving you wisdom and discernment about people’s hearts, and their true intent towards you. Some of us don’t give God enough time to do that. You need to have the spiritual eye to point out what/who is sent by God or not. “Well, what do I need to do?”
Have your own standards, and stick to them! Maybe even elevate them. According to popular social media takes, we shouldn’t express or receive love in certain ways because no one is deserving. “The bar is in hell”, well that might be because we’ve lived according to the world for too long. Now let’s be clear. There’s no such thing as having expectations that are too high, or being too caring. That’s for people who don’t believe there’s a God who loves unconditionally and can do ANYTHING! We shouldn’t be delusional about people, or only see the worst in them. God requires balance of us, in all things. It’s best to consider the truth about everything. Remember what qualities and characteristics God requires for people you allow in your life, and ask Him, “Is this your best for me?” because that’s THE bar. No exceptions.
Consult God about everything! I cannot stress this enough. You know how in sex education they teach that abstinence is the only way to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STD’s, this is only fireproof way to avoid unwanted heartbreak and confusion. God is the only one who knows everything, has eyes everywhere, and has the power to do everything beyond our wildest dreams and imagination. He knows the play that’ll win the game every single time. He helps you avoid detours and even helps you when there are roadblocks. Get with the winning team, chile! We’re smart but we’re not all knowing so ask The One who is.
Guard your heart. There are people who know how God made you and they prey on that. It can’t be described as anything other than evil. God can and will protect us and give us a way of escape in time of trouble, but we have to have some accountability too. Don’t expose all your weaknesses and give anyone the key to your heart. It’s more precious than anything you own, and you should value and protect it as such. Master manipulators will try to infiltrate the gate to your heart at any cost. They will love bomb you, or just blatantly lie about who they are. Words matter, but actions matter more. Intention is nothing without follow through. Let them prove who they are before you start getting intimate and vulnerable. Give them the surface until God exposes their true heart to you. THEN, in due time, let God lead you in what to share. Keep your eyes and hands up so you don’t get hit.
Realistically a lot of people aren’t aware of themselves enough to even know that they’re sucking the light out of you. We call these men leeches. You’re responsible for your heart though, so the key is to be able to see the signs.
He doesn’t respect you. If you are practicing celibacy, no matter the reason you should stand on that, ten toes down. If they are trying to coerce you into turning away from what you believe in, they are not for you. The man that isn’t for you requires loyalty over respect because he doesn’t know how to respect you. He prefers material things from you, including coochie, because he doesn’t have anything to offer but material things too. Remember, we often accept what we think we deserve, and often because we aren’t offering much either. Take inventory of what it is you are offering in your relationship, and if there’s not an equal exchange of these things, you know what to do sis. Don’t compromise what is building your character, transforming you into a better woman [of God], and leading you into purpose.
He can’t support you because he can’t relate. You’re carrying an unequally yoked relationship and that puts a strain on your heart. A huge reason a lot of relationships don’t last is because you don’t believe the same things. Values, morals and lifestyles are the standard of what should align with your partner. For me, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus. He governs my good behavior, which is a result of the godly qualities that built my character. While I think there are great moral teachings in other faiths, they don’t match mine, and eventually along the line, that will affect every decision we make as a unit. A partner is supposed to complement who we are and how we live. It’s not even that we can’t agree, we just don’t. It’s fact that there are nice atheists, but as a Christian, we live different lives. Remember we’re looking to God for our husbands. We don’t benefit from flings. Anything we think we’ll learn from that experience, we can learn without the harmful things that come with entering relationship with people we probably shouldn’t. Think about it.
You’ve never experienced peace in your relationship. Peace from God only has one condition - keeping your mind focused on Him. It’s simple. Your intuition is a divine connection between your conscious mind and God’s. Wherever you register that intuition - your gut/stomach, your heart, your head - trust it! God reaches us in whatever way we will listen and sometimes that’s through turmoil and stress. Every time you turn around you are confused, upset and heartbroken. Refer to the beginning of this post, boo.
“What qualifies you to talk about this Chelle?” I’m living what I’m telling you. I’m not new to this, I’m true to this. There are some things I learned from my own experience, and other things I learned from what God showed me in others. And since I practice what I preach, I know this stuff works, and my life can be an example for you. I hope my life not only inspires you to be closer to God, but gives you a little motivation just to start living the way God intends. You’ll prosper, I promise.
Xoxo, richelle k.
p.s. - this conversation isn’t over but that’s all for now.
