DEFINE SPACE
Why does the word “space” scare us so much? I’ll tell you why, but first, I need you to promise to do two things. First, grab your inner child by the hand and let them know you’re not going anywhere, and you’re in this together. Second, I need to you to promise me that whenever you make it through this post, you’ll meditate, then comment below how you feel.
I want to start by saying that I am not a therapist, just your best internet friend. The following questions are ones I’ve asked myself. I know that some of the words and phrases I use are triggering because I’m cringing and healing though this AS I TYPE. This is going to be beautiful though, so stick with me okay? We got this.
inhale - exhale
why did they leave me?
You are not the reason that special person left you behind. I know you feel abandoned - left out, like you’re missing out on something - when It’s actually the opposite. I called them a special person because they have some special meaning nd we don’t always feel abandoned by a romantic interest. Some of us face these emotions with family members, mentors or friends.
The reason we ask this question is because we have an emotional attachment and we feel like we’re owed closure. Closure is defined as a sense of resolution or conclusion. Of course there’s an extended version of that definition, but this is basically saying there’s satisfaction and a settling of your spirit about how somethings ended. Most of us don’t feel like things have ended because we go on carrying memories, triggers and thoughts about that chapter in our lives. The fact is, our mind and heart are still dwelling there.
The reality is, you may never know why, but the fact is they’re gone, and you’re still there. Go where the love is. Create a space for yourself, where you feel loved, heard, understood. The best place to start is within yourself. Find out who you are without them. Don’t think of it as restarting a process, think of it as repurposing your heart. Your heart wasn’t made to chase them, but to make space for a love that will willingly reciprocate love.
take a deep breath
who did they leave me for?
In each of these sections I’m going to tell you the truth, and it may seem cold, but I’m praying that somehow pressing this “cold” truth against your heart will remind you to FEEL. There’s warmth that still exists inside of you.
The trick of our mind and the enemy is insecurity. Insecurities are typically rooted in lies about us not being good enough, deserving, or worthy. Someone out there has “taken this person from us”. I’m not saying that this other person is a figment of our imagination, but I am saying, they don’t matter. Period. Someone’s presence or absence does not determine the presence/absence of our greatness. We compare what we feel like we lack with what we believe another person possesses. That’s not even a fair comparison in the first place. If anything, we should count up what we KNOW we possess, and count it as something that makes us just as good as another person who has a different quality.
And this doesn’t just apply to people, it applies to jobs and creativity. That symptom of life is imposter syndrome, and we’ve talked about that before. The steps to overcoming: know God, know who He says you are, and ACCEPT that that’s who you are. Now go and LIVE in that truth!
one more
are they ever coming back?
Since they left, I think the question should be, “Am I allowed to leave too?” You have to understand you have options. Say it out loud. “I have options!” That particular place you were in with that person, no longer holds the same value to them, and the same could be true for you. The reason you liked it so much was because you shared it. Now that that’s not true, where do you want to go? There are endless destinations, and you will never know that they’re so much better if you don’t leave too.
So don’t worry about if they’re coming back, consider the option you have to not stick around and wait to see if they do. You have a life to live, and you can’t live it waiting on them.
conclusion
So why do we hate the word space?
because space means there’s distance between ourselves and the other point of attachment. We register space as permanent and infinite distance, when that’s not always the case. Sometimes space means a safe distance that allows you to exist in your world and someone else’s at the same time. The moon is in space, but so is Jupiter, the sun, and Earth. We still all exist in the same SPACE (or galaxy, universe, whatever; that word play though!).
I’m sure I’ll use this one day in the future, and I really hope that it’s a reminder to you, to never think you’re alone.
