THREE'S A PARTY! HAPPY 24TH TO ME

Well guys, we’ve made it to week three of the COVID-19 quarantine situation and I have managed to not go crazy. I have been super intentional about keeping the energy high and positive here because I just celebrated my twenty-fourth birthday, April 7th. What a time to be alive, right?

The past couple years I have focused more on being peaceful and content, rather than planning huge, excited gatherings. Don’t get me wrong, I love to do hoodrat things with my friends, but I have felt it necessary to find more of a friend in myself and God more than anyone else. So I had a thought; define friendship. What does it look like. feel like? Is it rooted in the physical support people show you? Are you the kind of person who just needs someone else’s company?

I have to admit, growing up, friends was a difficult subject for me because people came and went so often and sometime really quickly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had friends longer than I’ve expected, and sometimes still wondered what grounded the relationship. Don’t you ever wonder why people are around? I know for a fact I’m the fun, motivating supportive friend. I haven’t always been sure who that was for me.

I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous but I think social media and technology has somewhat ruined people’s perception of what friendship really is. Even so, it’s become so diluted and based on some sort of digital universe. Let me put this in perspective. I did everything I could to keep my spirits up for my birthday, seeing as I couldn’t even go out to enjoy wine and cake by my lonesome (which is something I like to do for ME). I thought I would try something new and hop on the zoom trend. I created a chat room, invited friends and waited for the day to come. Now, life happens. I get it, but I have a hard time getting people to come through for simple things such as that. I love a good birthday shout out in the Instagram stories (cute). However, I’m a sentimental person, and I like intimacy. I understand we aren’t all that way, but I feel like for my birthday, I should receive love in the currency that resonates with me. Does that make sense? Imagine you tell your significant other, “I don’t want jewelry for my birthday. Instead, I’d love for us to just sit and talk, laugh, play a game, since we don’t usually get to do that.” The day of your birthday, a bouquet of roses comes to your door with a note attached saying you’re loved. It’s nice, but it’s not what you wanted. You can’t connect that way. That’s how I feel with friends sometimes.

I think friends give you what you need to feel loved. Let’s be clear. We are allowed to get it wrong sometimes. Things happen, sometimes we forget; but, friends communicate too. Be vocal about these things. Know when you’re not being heard, deliberately misunderstood. It sucks but you have to be aware of the responses and reactions you get from people when expressing yourself. It’s important. I’m not sure if I’m used to excusing things or if I’m really learning to cut people a break and not measure people’s love for me by their missteps. There’s a lot to unpack here, but I stand by what I say. I love the friends who listen to me. They are appreciated.

Be safe & stay friendly.

Xoxo, richelle

p.s. - comment below how you like to receive love. Have you ever taken the love language quiz? Here’s the book about it.